


From the Private Collections of the Umbrella Academy, 1999-2019

by Cal_Eats_Peeps (Devon_Rambles)



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Gen, Reginald Hargreeves' A+ Parenting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-14
Updated: 2019-07-19
Packaged: 2020-06-27 19:02:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 1,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19797091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Devon_Rambles/pseuds/Cal_Eats_Peeps
Summary: Sir Reginald Hargreeves, wishing to make them more vigilant on missions, gifted the children one blank journal each in which to record observations of their environments. (Grace convinced him to buy one for Vanya as well.)The journals offered the only refuge the children had from their upbringing. Over the years, they became more like diaries than papers for basic observations. Here are some highlights from each book.





	1. 1999: Luther/ Vanya

**Author's Note:**

> Aka twenty years of collective sibling trauma! Nothing violent or sexual though. 
> 
> This went from "Let me write down passing thoughts I have while watching TUA" to "Wow what could that facial expression have meant? Must explore but I'll keep it to a couple of sentences" to "Guess I'm writing dissertations now".
> 
> There are references to alcohol and drug use, incest, and death. Let me know if you'd like me to tag something else as well.

**Luther:**

My siblings are frightened of a lot of things. They don’t have to tell me this (and they wouldn’t dare to). Their nightmares are written all over them.

I only carry a few fears. For one, I'm afraid of who I'd become if they no longer need me.

I'm also afraid I'll hurt someone one day. Unintentionally. Like I'll never fully know my power. Like my power will always be more eager and able to obey Dad than me. I wonder if the others worry about this, too, but I'm afraid to ask.

Of my three fears, I'm not sure which is the strongest.

* * *

**Vanya:**

Sometimes I feel like the strongest one. I can do whatever I want, apart from leaving, and not be noticed or punished by Dad.

My superpower is invisibility. 


	2. 2002: Vanya/ Klaus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In a later episode, Diego referenced some time when Klaus broke his jaw and I lost sleep over it
> 
> Drinking is mentioned in this chapter.

**Vanya:**

We were twelve when Klaus fell silent. At first I thought it was because of the surgery. The others teased him mercilessly about it: "The mighty Seance, hero of the Capital West Bank Rescue, new and improved in a wired jaw." But he became quiet in other ways, too. 

I heard four sounds every night in the years leading up to that first mission. Klaus screams, Diego's bed creaks like he's sitting up, footsteps cross the hall, and two voices whisper. I heard that every night, in that order, without fail. 

Now Klaus lies still and I can't sleep. I'm pretty sure Diego can't, either. 

* * *

**Klaus:**

The day my siblings became killers. The day they walked up to me with their own ghosts in tow. That's when I started drinking. 


	3. 2003: Diego/ Ben

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The siblings have conflicting thoughts about Five.

**Diego:**

It's taken a few months for me to realize this, but sometimes I'm glad Five's gone. 

Dad's been acting like nothing's changed, but after thirteen years, you can't just pretend someone never happened. The only thing noticeably different about Dad is the way he treats us. He's been pushing us harder. We have longer training sessions and we've had to pick up the slack on missions. Luther and I have been logging in extra hours at the gym. We've been practicing on our own more rather than in pairs, now that there's an odd number of us. 

Honestly, I love it. I feel strong and useful. I'm in the best shape of my life. There's no one around to remind me of how dumb I am, besides Dad. 

Sometimes Dad even looks at me like he's proud. 

I know every cruel, comforting thing Dad could ever say to me, but I don't know if I'll ever make him smile. With less competition, I've gotten a bit closer. 

* * *

**Ben:**

Sometimes I'm glad Five left. Other times I'm insatiably jealous. 

Dad's been trying to toughen me up with extra solo training, but I don't need it. I don't have to fight or get fit like the rest of them do. I literally just have to pull my shirt up. 

I've never told anyone this, but I can make them listen to me. If I'm in the right mood, I can open the portal for a while without them trying to behead everything. I don't push it, though. Took a long time to train them not to try and decapitate _me_. 

It wouldn't help on missions, either, having the tentacles act like anything other than weapons. 

My body won't belong to me for any part of my life. The monsters and my family's expectations of them get joint custody. Five is the only one who listened and attempted to understand. With him away, I keep my pain tucked beneath my tongue like Dad wants. 

At least one of us doesn't have to worry about what Dad wants anymore. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Imo Papa Hargreeves manipulates the higher ranks (and Five, who's competitive by nature) by encouraging rivalry where there is none, and the lower ranks by isolating/ berating them. 
> 
> So Diego flips between being protective and being an ass to his siblings, until he moves out and is in a place where he can reject what his dad taught him


	4. 2005: Ben/ Allison

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The siblings' takes on relationships. 
> 
> Incest is mentioned in this chapter.

**Ben:**

Dad's been saying more and more lately that he wishes he'd acquired more female children. Luther and Diego blush whenever he says it, while Klaus changes the subject. 

I think Dad wishes we could've paired off and had superduperhuman babies. He would've liked to study them. They probably would've been better superheroes than us, too. And they might've had multiple powers. 

Even if Dad found other kids like us, it's never going to happen. No one wants to get that close to me. I wish I didn't have to be close to me, either. 

Besides, I'm never having kids, even with a regular person. I can't risk passing any amount of this on. Plus, Dad would probably try to buy them off me. 

* * *

**Allison:**

I fell in love once. With a fan. Against Dad's rules. I asked my boy to forget me. Well. "Asked" is the wrong word. 

Dad told me if I ever disobeyed like that again, he'd make me steal my brother's powers, than sweet-talk myself mad. He's constantly threatening to make me rumor people. Now his threats are...colorful. Specific. 

The only boy for me now is Luther. Suppose I should be grateful. Dad finds me worthy of his number one. Dad finds me worthy. 

I rumored Luther into falling in love with me. To make it easier. For him or me, I still don't know. Funny thing is, I convinced him more quickly than I do most people. I guess part of him was already open to the idea. 

It happened like it always does. I made a wish and I can't take it back. But for once, I'm not sure I really want to. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Allison gets a driving scene in episode 8 when she remembers a time she rumored someone that they love her. I've been assuming it was Patrick this whole time, but today my brain had a mutinous thought and oops, here we are


	5. 2007: Five/ Klaus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five and Klaus talk about Ben. 
> 
> Warnings for mentioning a character death (no details) and rehab for drug abuse

**Five:**

Time doesn't matter after an apocalypse. I counted the days at first because I believed I'd actually be able to jump back. Lately I've been counting out of habit rather than actual interest or faith. 

Even with keeping track, it took me a while to remember. Typed under a sprawl of my notes is a date in Vanya's autobiography. Ben dies tonight. 

* * *

**Klaus:**

For a while I tried to summon Five like I tried with our birth moms. I failed every time. Which means they're either alive or they're trying to outrun us. But hell, I'm out here every day gunning for memory loss through some vice or other. Who am I to judge? 

Some days I don't know which would be worse, though: not seeing Five, or knowing for sure. 

With Ben, I knew. Right away. I wasn't even there to see it happen. 

You want to know why I trust Ben? How I know he's a decent person? Because of his victims. Listen, ghosts hover around 1-6 looking for revenge, but Ben's hesitate when they see how gentle he is. He regrets every kill. Even the necessary ones. He's the worst superhero. 

Anyway, that's how I knew it was a dead man walking towards me while I reclined on the couch. I was fresh out of treatment, so I would've seen his little corpse posse more clearly than I have in ages. 

But he came home alone. That's how I knew, see? Ghosts don't haunt ghosts. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why 2007? you ask. It just felt right. They turn 18 this year, Diego mentions moving at out 17 to Luther at the library, and I don't think they stuck around any longer than they had to after Ben died.  
> If Ben did die on a mission, I think Klaus would've missed it, maybe bc he was too high or he was in treatment, and that might be why Ben looks unharmed


	6. 2019: Allison/ Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allison muses about her siblings' refusal to admit to having emotions. Five ponders who caused the apocalypse and laments his biggest miscalculation. 
> 
> Allison writes her piece around the same time the show starts, while Five's takes place towards the end.

**Allison:**

I hate when they ask me if I miss Claire. Of course I do. Does a broken heart beat?

I think they keep asking because they've never heard anyone admit to loving someone else, and they're hoping they too can someday confess to someone else, or to each other, "I need you".

* * *

**Five:**

When I jumped, I thought everyone was accounted for. Luther, abnormally huge and clutching an eyeball as tightly as he clung to his faith in Dad. Diego near Allison, of course: those two always fought well together. Klaus, looking stunned with arms akimbo. Death was his gift; must've been a shock when it turned its jaws on him. 

I found Ben's corpse in the autobiography, Dad's in a crumbling newspaper. But I never did find Vanya's.

I should've known right then. Stupid of me to overlook her. Stupid of us all.

Dolores did warn me to double-check the equations. I guess she's laughing now. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In unrelated news, it's the anniversary of humanity's first moon landing! *nudges Luther* that'll be you in 50 years, kiddo!
> 
> I'm going to call this a wrap since I've caught up with season 1. Thanks for reading! if you need me I'll be writing more fanfic and reconsidering the excessive free time, lack of hobbies, and questionable life choices that lead me here


End file.
